Written by: Am
I often find myself lost in thoughts about things I feel don’t concern other people. And maybe because they don’t want to think about these things, or perhaps they have never thought about these things. Nevertheless, it’s these things that I feel will continue affecting future generations because of our lack of action.
We’re really at a crossroads in all aspects of human life – our planet, our environment, our governments… these are all issues we must talk about, but we don’t. The struggle isn’t universal any longer. It’s become a personal struggle, and when the personal struggle invalidates the universal, action is difficult. The personal struggle is the priority. Affording the costs of living, establishing a career to afford those costs, and to also find the time to enjoy life. Can we really if all there is is working life away to afford life? Kind of pointless.
The way we live has been structured, for generations and generations. We have become mindless consumers of the life we think we’re supposed to have. We feel entitled to have it. We’re conditioned to buy things, taught to live a life of material, and deviating from this institutionalized lifestyle will make you feel like an outcast. You will have failed. You’re a failure. It’s reinforced by every single person aspiring to build a career, get married, get a mortgage. Pointless holidays like Valentines Day to stimulate consumerism. Shower your significant other with invaluable materials to measure the worth of your love for each other. Absurd.
We have this idea that finding someone and “sharing your life” with someone is the answer to everything. It makes this place less lonely, but for me being alone never meant being lonely. I was that person though; I fell for all of it. I had this idea as a kid, that I’d fall in love with a girl and we’d live the fairy tale. We’d have adventures, I’d do romantic things for her, and I’d be a happy person – I would feel fulfilled. But for me the idea of having that kind of relationship is no longer a need or a priority. It’s a personal belief; not something I impose on others. And let me be clear, if that’s something someone genuinely believes in – something that will bring them happiness, I don’t discourage it. Whichever lifestyle someone chooses, it’s their decision and only theirs. But give someone who does not feel the need to live your lifestyle the same respect.
I believe love is a beautiful thing… but it’s fluid, like most things in life, it’s subject to evolve and change. I forget what movie I saw but a character had said something like “love is a socially-accepted form of mental illness” and I totally believe it. Love makes people do insane, irrational things. People do insane, irrational things all the time and they’re accused of being crazy, but people “in love”… aren’t. I feel like the idea of being in love is what people are so in love with, and not necessarily for what it is.
Being in love with someone… having that kind of an intense, spiritual, wonderful connection is amazing… I don’t doubt the intensity, the passion… there’s something so inexplicable about it that if I had to describe it as anything, the closest thing I could describe it to is the sensation of being on the most fucked up wonderfully, insane, absurd trip. But I feel that way about life in general. It’s the wildest trip. It’s not a necessity though. It’s important to be able to be by yourself and be content with that – looking for validation in a relationship, in someone else, will always leave someone feeling empty because the anxiety is created.
It’s irrelevant to me now… because there is this life… this narrative we’ve come to live and it’s the same for everyone. It’s what people aspire in life… the life goals: school, marriage, mortgage, death. But it’s killing us.