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You Couldn’t Stop Me From Giving a Fuck

Someone said to me today that they don’t care what goes on in the world because it doesn’t affect them… that they can’t do anything about those situations. And it made me angry. It should make everyone angry. You should care. Saying you don’t care about those people is like saying you don’t care about yourself.

Everything and everyone is connected. As humans we are capable of any solution. Where there have been obstacles and challenges before, we’ve met them. So why is it that we are unable to resolve issues like poverty, famine, war, systemic racism, genocide, slavery, climate change, factory farming. It’s unacceptable.

Why is it that we are so complacent with our situation because maybe we happen to be happy? Is it not enough to acknowledge that we are fortunate to have what we have and not be in the terrible situations of others?

No. I don’t believe it’s enough.

I read an article a while ago about having “high-empathy” disorder. It made me livid. What is that even? I’m too empathetic? I’m too concerned about issues that “don’t concern me”. No. That’s not right. It’s not okay to start making every feeling a fucking disorder. It’s not okay to tell me or anyone that because they feel empathetic to someone’s situation, that I’m suffering from some psychological disorder as defined by some government-funded bullshit doctors. Here’s a pill because you feel too sorry for people and you don’t know how to function in society.

We’re ruled by an elite group of psychopaths. Seriously. They own the banks that control the governments and media. They fund both sides of the war for profit and they manufacture the consent of the people through the propaganda of the media. These people don’t give a fuck about us. They don’t want us to be capable of critical thinking. They don’t teach that in schools.

They want us to keep our heads down. Get jobs. Spend money. And accept our situation as it is. They manufacture lives and desire. And they brainwash us, keep us constantly distracted with the idea that selling your soul is the only way to save it. Dreams are constructed. “The American Dream” … is it artistic expression? Or is it a formula?

Pay attention to what’s going in the world. Just because you think it doesn’t affect you, doesn’t make it true.

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“I’m 28, raising four kids, in my mother’s house.”

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. A long while. It’s not that I didn’t have anything to talk about. I’ve just been “too busy” to sit down and free my mind of all of the things it’s been occupied with as of late. It’s funny I say that because I hate that. Too busy? Why? What am I doing? Mostly trying to figure out how to function at a frequency that this place seems to want us to vibe on. Nope.

A few weeks ago, my friend was celebrating her birthday at a nightclub, and I had arrived really late, but the important thing was that I was there, right? Right. I was having a good time; my friend was really happy to see me, so.. the night was as usual as it could be.

I remember asking this woman for a lighter so my friend could light her smoke, but this woman looked… Run. Down. I had returned her lighter and asked why she wasn’t dancing like nobody’s business. She looked at me for a minute before she sighed and shrugged her shoulders. I told her it was a good night… she was alive, and there was good music, she should just dance. And she took my arm and said “I’m 28. I’m 28, and I have 4 kids at home.” I told her that was amazing. And she shook her head, “No, I’m fucking 28 and I’ve four kids and I live with my mother.” She looked incredibly disappointed and sad. Like the world had made her believe her life was something to feel embarrassed about. I told her it was an incredible thing that she was raising four kids, when I can barely take care of myself, and that being 28 shouldn’t make her feel any type of way. 28 is the new 18! The fact that she was able to have a space to keep her kids fed and clothed — that’s an insane accomplishment. There are kids who aren’t so fortunate, who wouldn’t have parents putting their lives first because they would be out partying all night, every night, or outright abandoning their kids. Nobody knows her circumstances but herself, and there’s no reason for her journey to be questioned or invalidated because of some imaginary timeline constructed by arbitrary societal pressures.

She high-fived me, gave me a hug, and said “You’re right! Fuck. You know what? You’re right.. it is the new 18! I am hard-working.. I’m trying everyday!”

You are. There are so many of us trying every single day, and we don’t need the expectations of a society to measure our successes and failures.

I’m a fucking snail. I’ll get where I need to be at my own pace. Don’t compare yourself to others. Your journey is not their journey and vice versa. Just acknowledge the efforts you make every day, and be grateful for the things you have. The rest will follow.

We Are All Slaves

We’ve been so conditioned to abide a structure and lifestyle that is enforced. It’s a perfect way to keep the masses distracted. Get an education, get a job, get married, have children. The 9-5 is a work day designed to make us consumerists. The very little time between work and errands is the time we take pleasure.

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All of these relationships we cultivate and make over a lifetime is designed to distract us from real issues. IF the issue at large does not affect someone personally and immediately, they won’t care for the cause. If I have to sacrifice some rights than so be it. There’s nothing we can do about the government – so why worry about it? – I’m going to worry about finding a job and finding a partner. We’re so dependant on these things that we even feel a sense of accomplishment when we attain those things. We’ve been conditioned to feel that these life accomplishments are what is setting your life for you. The system gives you the life goals – you think we have choices, but do we really? The dependancy on friendships, love, relationships is to make us feel like we cannot survive without them. That to be alone… is to equate it with lonely. No. We do not need these things in order to feel accomplished or good about ourselves. The idea of structure, societal rules is to make us slaves. The structure of life is so engrained that it is nearly impossible to live any other way. The few who will challenge the system will be swallowed up by the masses, so those in power – enforcing unjust actions – wont need to feel threatened. They eliminate those who dare to stand up to them.

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We are never given options – we’re only ever given the ILLUSION of options. The question isn’t whether you want the PS4, it’s what colour you want? <— These are not options — the question of buying it does not exist. We all need to be instagram users — the # of LIKES validates our existence, our … acceptance. Moving pictures, moments — posted under no pressure.. no obligation, mere NEED for social media. Our needs have become our biggest weakness. It is an endless appetite that plenty will feed. Those who understand this have been given the holy grail of immortality. LIMITLESS IMMORAL ACTIONS.

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We don’t need to talk about the NSA, because we are the NSA. Willingly sharing information – locations – activities online across all spectrums of social media, and then PHONES. So many ways for us to never not be connected, we’ve been plugged into the machine. The giant machine that governs our daily lives to the point we have anxiety or super ADHD… if we aren’t plugged in. We’ll give over as many rights as we need to to always be plugged in. We are all copies of copies of copies… we’re screwed… someone get me out of this game. This game is rigged. It’s all rigged, always.

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Friends

Written by: Am
Relationships are hard. And I mean all kinds of relationships. It’s a balance of compromises and unconditional love. What happens if there’s an imbalance? It slowly begins to unravel and eventually, things aren’t the same any more.
A huge part of my life is devoted to making sure that I’m being the best friend / girlfriend that I can be. There’s an unspoken understanding that when things get difficult, it’s not okay to bail or act as if there are way more important things going on in my life than theirs. It also means, being there no matter what’s going on… even if one of my friends wants their own time and their own space.
I think often times we forget that wanting to know everything about someone you deeply care about isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. My best friend and I have been friends for over 10 years, and there have been times when both of us may be absent from each other’s lives for a little while or we’re not exactly sure what’s going on with the other, but it doesn’t mean our relationship’s changed or become weaker. (We call them “black out” periods, haha). I think the reason we’ve remained friends though is because we’re able to pick up exactly where we left off, and we aren’t offended if there are things we don’t want to talk to each other about. Eventually, we’ll talk about whatever’s going on and there’s no animosity about it. I believe the few close friends I have, have the same understanding.
That unconditional love is very important. You don’t make friends with someone and decide “hey, I like 70% of you, but I don’t care for the other 30%”. You don’t love that person wholly  and that’s selfish, because it becomes a relationship based on conveniences.
We all have periods in our lives when sometimes, being difficult is okay. There’s nothing wrong with dealing with your issues the way you need to in order to have some sort of clarity. It’s also absurd to assume your friends or significant other are anything but themselves 100% of the time if you truly know them. There are things or habits I have I know annoy my friends, and vice versa… but it never changes the love we have for each other. Why would the focus of your friendship be on these very few annoyances versus the countless good qualities and reasons you’re friends? That’s what unconditional love is about. It means never having to compromise who you are or what you feel to make your friends happy – they will understand if they’re your friends, and giving them the same understanding.